Writing Relatable Characters…No Matter How Bad They Are

I recently watched the movie Miss Pettigrew Lives For A Day, based on a book written in early 20th century by Winifred Watson.  The movie was thoroughly enjoyable ( I definitely recommend it.)  And I decided to write about it because I found the character of Delysia Defosse to be fascinating. Here is a character who from the moment she appears in the movie, is amoral, a bit shameful (but more shameless) and something of a user, a liar and ambitious to her own detriment. And yet…she is charming, likable and evokes sympathy as well.

I don't know about you, but I rarely put those adjectives together to describe the same person.  Yet, in the movie, I rooted for Delysia to choose her true love, even as she's stomping on his heart with her ambition. HE should have run for the nearest window…but in the end, I wanted them to have their happy endings.

What is it about this character, for all her faults, that makes her rootable?  That makes her sympathetic?  What is it about any character that makes us care about them…and at times, even reverse our opinions and want them to find happiness?

Relatable Characters

If I think back to the characters that have stayed with me the longest, they all have a few things in common:  Layers.  Flaws.  Empathy.

No one likes a perfect heroine who does nothing wrong, never has a bad hair day or says a swear word.  And really, who finds that perfect looking man with the perfect job and the perfect words for every occasion fascinating for longer than one date?  If you're a cynic, you immediately start looking for what's under the facade…because too good to be true is usually just that — too good to be true.  The people I love most in my life are flawed… and it's a matter of loving them because of all of who they are, not just the good.  

That's what I look for in characters, too — something that makes them relatable. If you can find a way to relate to or empathize with the character, they instantly seem more human.  One of my all-time favorite romance heroines is Whitney Stone from Judith McNaught's Whitney My Love.  Whitney is, as many historical heroines are, beautiful…eventually.  At the start, she's somewhat gauky, definitely not polished and more than a little obsessed with a local boy.  She does go through something of a transformation in the book, she grows into her beauty, she gains some polish.  And yet when faced with the fascinating hero, Clayton, Whitney is far less than perfect.  Their communication skills are dismal, and each of them make mistake after mistake in their dealing with each other.   I loved them because they weren't perfect, because I could relate to the issues they faced and how they chose to face them.

Motivation and Understanding

Have you ever heard the story of a serial killer, real or written, and immediately thought to yourself, What happened in his childhood/life/past to make him do these things?  I'm sure we all have, and it illustrates the number one point about making characters relatable.  We have to understand why they do the things they do, we have to understand what motivates them.  

To me, understanding is a very different quality than accepting or forgiving an action.  A man being tortured and abused in his childhood doesn't mean he isn't responsible for the descipable choices he makes in killing people.  He is.  But as a human being genetically wired to ask "Why?" I look for answers.  

A well-drawn villain takes actions that we find abhorrent, whatever they may be.  And underneath those actions are layers of motivation… what he thinks he wants and then underneath that, what he really wants and why.   

What The Character Wants

Miss Defosse, as mentioned, comes across as fairly immoral right up front.    From the first ten minutes, you know what she wants — she wants to be famous.   Her ambition drives her, and because of it, she makes unsympathetic choices like dating the club owner for the prestige and money, or dating the producer for what he can do for her career all the while dumping on the man who loves her for who she is, the only one (of course) who knows her real name.  At this point in the movie, if you were to ask her what she wants, she'd tell you: To be famous.   She wants the fame, the wealth and the prestige that goes with it.  

So at the beginning of your book,  ask your character –be they villain or hero — what they want.  This generally falls into the categories of fame, money, power, love, understanding… basic goals that most of us identify with.   What matters most to your character?

What The Character REALLY wants

Toward the end of Miss Pettigrew Lives For A Day, we learn some hidden truths about Delysia.  We learn what she really wants.  Does that mean she doesn't want fame and fortune?  No.  She absolutely wants those things.  But once you know that, you have to ask why.  Why is it important?  What does it give her?  In Delysia's case, we learn that fame and fortune means never being on the street, it means never being that destitute, that vulnerable.  It's her deep seeded fear,  and when you consider the timing of this movie, in the late 30s/early 40s, this is probably a fear many had at that time.  

So her true desire, her true motivation is security.  She wants to feel safe and secure.   And the movie is about the choices – bad and good- that she makes in order to achieve that.    This is motivation.   Delysia has a goal, and underneath that goal is the movitation.  And motivation is the key…it's the why behind the what, it's the reason behind every good and bad decision.  And generally, the motivation will also play into how far a person is willing to go to get what they want.   The experiences in their past color the path they take to get what they want.  

A successful character in my eye is one who learns from their own mistakes.  Delysia wants safety and security, and at some point in her life, she latched on to fame and fortune as the way to get that.  Through the course of the movie, she begins to realize that love–finding someone to share your life with — can give her that.  She has to let go of her previous choice and choose something else.   And because we can understand that journey, we can relate to her even as she makes bad choices.  Perhaps especially when she makes bad choices.

Is Your Character Sympathetic?

So you've created your characters and you need to know if they draw empathy, if they are relatable?  Interview them, but not as a reporter.   Talk to them like their therapist and get to the heart of why they do what they do.  

First, ask what is the thing they want most — fame, money, power, love, understanding.  

Second, ask why they want it?  What does it mean to your character to have those things?  Often times fame is the goal for someone who needs to feel loved.  Who needs to feel secure.   Or power can be a focus for someone who's spent a lifetime without any.   

And third, ask what they are willing to do to get it.  How far is too far?  What crosses the line, what blurs that line for them?  And under what circumstances might they just forg
et there is a line?  

Who are some of your favorite characters and why? (Movie or book).