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Relentless.
I saw this word somewhere and it struck me like a splash of water across the face.
Why is now such a struggle? The obvious answer: there’s a global pandemic. The world has shut down. We’re in quarantine. I suppose that should be enough. And yet still, I question.
Why is this so hard?
We’ve all seen the memes. We’re just being asked to sit on the couch and binge watch Netflix, aren’t we? Work from home, for those of us who can. What’s so hard about that?
Relentless.
This word describes everything for me.
This quarantine feels relentless.
The days feel relentless.
The uncertainty.
The fear.
Yes, fear. I have also seen the posts that “we’re not sending loved ones to war.”
Actually, we are. Just not everyone knows it, not everyone experiences it every day and the draft that sends you or your loved ones to war isn’t a piece of paper in the mail — it’s a silent, creepy stalker that can grab you unexpectedly at any time, from anywhere. We know the stories — the really sick who go to the hospital don’t always come back. That sounds like war to me.
We are at war with something invisible we can’t beat face to face.
If you doubt that we’re at a war, read the accounts of those who are on the front lines, like this ER doctor in NY. He shares his diaries from the emergency room. He uses words like:“In peacetime, it’s different. The backs of my ears are raw. So much dying. Everywhere, there is death. Every volunteer is a soldier in the fight. Can’t help it. Can’t fix it. Can’t cure them. Juice is the best medicine I have right now. The eyes stay with you.”War is relentless. And this is a different type of war. It’s a psychological one for most of us, not a physical one. The doctors and nurses are fighting the physical war. The sick are fighting the war. They are seeing the wounded, the sick, the ones who won’t go back to their families. The psychological war isn’t abut what show to watch (well, but there was—is— Tiger King) or the boredom that sets in. It’s what our minds do with that boredom. Where we go. The people who can’t physically take sitting still for long. Or feeling confined. Or feeling scared. Who don’t have jobs to go to right now and yet their work is part of how they define who they are. It’s about feeling like our efforts, like what we’re doing is making a difference. And even when we hear that it is, when the numbers stay low and we’re told “it’s working ,keep it up”, maintaining that status quo is simply hard. Keeping it going because “it’s working” when you have no idea how long you have to keep it going is hard. It doesn’t matter if you’re an introvert, an extrovert, married with kids, single, or somewhere in the middle of all of it, we’re all going through this in the same and yet every different ways. These feelings right now are constant —there is no release, there is no door at the end of the escape room. This is it. So yes, while there is always (always) perspective to be found, there should also be acceptance and understanding that all jokes aside, this is an abnormal, uncertain, scary and relentless time we’re living in. Be kind. Image by Nhat-Tien Le from Pixabay