Stage Fright and Other Things I Know Well

It’s time for a confession (since it seems to be the month for them).  I hate being the center of attention.  Go ahead, roll your eyes, say “Yeah sure,” and snicker behind your coffee mug.  But it’s the truth.  One might say I have an ridiculous case of Stage Fright.

My wedding? The idea of being the focus of 50+ guests terrified me.  Hubby and I planned a smaller, more casual wedding – it was more “us” but it was also far more “me.” I hated the idea of being in the middle of a formal affair where everything I said and did would be watched.  Instead, we had a wonderful ceremony and a big party at our house.  It was perfect, low-key and I did a wonderful job of pretending that I was not the center of attention. (Denial is a beautiful thing.)

Why, you ask, should this matter? I’m a writer.  I sit at a computer, day in and night out, with no one but my keyboard and the dust bunnies paying any attention.  That might be true in part, but I’m finding more and more that it’s not one-hundred percent true.

Writing isn’t enough to build a name as an author.  

Sure, I could stay safely behind my desk and never hold a book signing, never talk to a potential reader, never go out on a limb.  But how does that help me succeed in anything but giving in to the fear?

In the next month, I have a book signing party, a public speaking engagement and an invitation to speak in front of the local womens group in my town, as well as set up another book signing here.  And yes, I’m nervous.  In fact, I’m a little terrified of all of it. I get uncomfortable when someone asks me about my book in a casual, smaller setting.  How will I handle such spotlight instances as a booksigning or speaking engagements?

I’m choosing to ignore the vat of butterflies running rampant in my belly and forge ahead.  I will speak in public and I will do my best. After all, that’s really all I can do.  My best. However, I need to be prepared.  I need my armor and my weapons because frankly, I feel like I’m going into battle here.  
So here is what I plan to take with me:

My armor

My armor is essentially that which protects me.  For me, that means I have to go in with the right mindset.  In 17 tips for conquering stage fright, Gretchen Rubin says “Act the way you want to feel.”  For me, it goes along the idea that smiling is easier than frowning, and if I fake a smile, eventually I’ll feel the smile.  So here’s my version: Fake it until you feel it.

And often, this starts physically.  It means taking a deep breath (or twenty), straightening my posture, setting my shoulders back and pasting a big smile on my face. If I can relax my muscles, eventually, my emotions should fall in line.

My weapons

Knowledge is the biggest weapon I can have: knowledge about my speech topic, knowledge about my book, or knowledge about me.  That part should be easy, right? I wrote the book, I have been me for plenty of years.   But what do you do when someone asks, “What is your book about?” We’ve all written the book jacket blurb, the synopsis, the pitch—but how does that translate into speaking?  Or when someone asks you about how you write, why you write.  Do you know how to answer the most basic questions people ask authors? Heck, do we even know what those questions are?  We should.  

Which leads me to my next weapon: Practice.  All those questions we get asked in author interviews for blogs, on paper, we need to practice saying out loud.  I need to practice being “on stage.”  And by that, I don’t necessarily mean grabbing the hairbrush for a microphone and belting out a show tune (although hey, whatever works).  I mean, practice being the focus.  Stand in front of a mirror and talk as if someone was asking you those questions.  You’ll spot your weaknesses (a tendency to twist your hands or shift your weight) and be able to work on them.  

My last weapon (and this is so girlie, I know): My outfit.  Do girls only appreciate the absolute requirement of the perfect outfit in situations like these?  There is something more to the “I feel Pretty” song than a great musical number.  It goes along with the “fake it until you feel it” mentality.  If you feel pretty, you act more confident and more relaxed.  So in situations I know I’m walking into, I can plan my outfit to help.  Red is my best color, so you can bet your buttons people will be seeing a lot of it.  

So there you have it.  My attack plan to get me through the next few months.  What about you? What are your tricks to deal with talking in public, or being the center of focus? If you're like me, how do you get through it? 

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