I’m thrilled to welcome Linda Epstein, Submissions Manager at The McVeigh Agency. Please give her a warm Happy Endings welcome!
Mixing Metaphors and Peeting Peeves
by Linda Epstein
I work at a literary agency. I think I have the greatest job in the world, because I get to cull through queries looking for fantastic writers and great manuscripts. The other day we had over forty (that’s 40!) queries come in. Just in one today. Every day our slush pile grows steeper and steeper (can slush be steep?) and I dive in, looking for gems. OK, I’m totally mixing metaphors left and right, but you get the idea, don’t you? We’re swamped. Or buried. Whatever. And I’m determined to find the great books hidden in the slush! Will it be YA? Middle grade? Adult? Perhaps a picture book will captivate me. Or a memoir? We’ve taken on five new clients found in the slush pile in the past two and a half months alone!
Every time I sit down at the computer and open the e-mail I’m ready to discover the next best thing. The amount of great writing out there is astonishing, but I only look for things that would be a good fit for our agency. I think that most agencies are that way. We all want writers to be matched with the right agency for their work. It makes the most business sense, and it’s the way both the agent and the author can get the book sold. And isn’t that what we all want?
One of the things that makes my job more difficult as I’m reading through queries are poorly written query letters. Why, oh why, can’t authors do their research about how to query agents?! There are whole books, websites, blogs, all devoted to explaining what makes an effective query letter. I’m begging you, people! Read them!
I know you may have heard these before, but here are some of my pet peeves:
- For crying out loud, check your query for spelling errors and typos. No, really. I mean it. Now go back and check it again.
- Why is your letter addressed to anyone besides the people who work at the agency you’re querying? Dear Sirs? To whom it may concern? Know to whom you’re querying! When I see a “To whom it may concern” I think that the author hasn’t done their homework to find out about us. Which leads me to #3
- At least try to hide the fact that you’ve sent the same query to 20 other agencies. If I see 10 other agent’s names in the “to” part of the e-mail it’s quite disheartening. And those blue forward lines are distracting me from reading your query letter…
- Please remember that a query is a business letter; so don’t use too many exclamation points!!!! To quote a rock star of an agent that I know, “Write the letter as if you are writing to your lawyer or insurance agent: who you are, why you are writing, any brief information pertinent to your case and then let the pasted on pages do the talking for you.” I mean, would you paste a smiley face on an e-mail to the bank? If you answered yes, we’ve got to talk.
- Of course I want to know a little bit about you, but how many kids you have, your long career in finance or how long you’ve wanted to write a book (unless any of that is relevant to your story) just isn’t necessary. TMI is just TMI! Seriously, I just got 39 other queries! I’m really busy here.
- Please! Do your research! Make sure the agency you are querying represents your type of writing. I don’t want to have to reject you, I hate rejecting you and I even feel bad about rejecting you. But if you write in a genre we don’t represent you’re just forcing my hand. I will just have to reject you. Do. Your. Research.
OK. Enough of this distracting blogging… I’m diving back into the slush now! Or digging through the pile… whatever… you get the idea…
Linda Epstein is the Submissions Manager at The McVeigh Agency, a boutique literary agency in New York that handles writers, illustrators, photographers and graphic novelists for both the adult and children’s markets. She is also a fiction writer who has recently completed the first draft of a novel. She will be spending the summer reading queries and writing the second draft.
Happy Friday, Linda! Thanks for some terrific advice. Personally, I’d think every one of these would be a “d’uh” for a writer, but from reading the blogs of many agents and editors, I see the same pet peeves over and over. This leads me to believe that yes, some people are that dumb!
Good luck swimming through the slush, and have fun with that second draft. 😀
Linda, thanks so much for being here! I’m with Silver, it always surprises me to read the pet peeves of agents and editors, because some of it seems just standard procedure for professional behavior. But perhaps some folks don’t look at query sending as “professional.” Who knows.
Really off topic, but it reminds me of the season premiere of The Bachelorette this week. One guy gets out of the limo wearing cowboy boots, in “honor” of the cowboy boots the Bachelorette herself wore the season before. Only one problem…she didn’t wear cowboy boots. Talk about shooting yourself. Wow. So I wholeheartedly agree – DO YOUR HOMEWORK and check it twice.
That is so sad. I shouldn’t be chuckling, but you put such a humerous spin on this, it’s hard not to. It amazes me that people make such blatant gaffs. I mean, I’d like an agent or editor to remember my name, but not for that reason. 🙂
Thanks for letting me whine a little Jeannie! Now that I’ve gotten that off my chest, perhaps I can move on… 🙂 Next month I’ll be talking a little bit about how my own writing has changed since I’ve been working at The McVeigh Agency.
Wow, and these query letters are from writers. Thanks for a glimpse into your world. I think we sometimes only see it through our own experiences.
This is great, since I’ll be sending out queries in the next couple months. Most of it is in the “Of course” category, but hey, reminders never hurt anyone. Especially when they’re so humorously delivered. 🙂