So I had plans for an entirely different post this morning, but my weekend –and the cold that finally got the better of me –had different plans. In fact, those different plans including taking my voice.
Not only can I not speak, I can't even squeak. It's just gone. I'm sure viral laryngitis is nothing new to many people, but I've never lost my voice so completely before that I had to resort to grabbing my laptop just to get the words out. That might work effectively with the adults in my household, but it doesn't work so well with the two year old or the dog. They rely on verbal communication to get a point across. The look on your face, the stance you take seem to have very little effective on their own without the voice, without the inflection. (I dare you to try and tell a two year old to clean up his toys without using your voice. <g>)
As writers, we rely on three things to express emotion and get deeper into our character's pysche: dialogue, introspection, and nonverbal communication. Nonverbal communication is by far the hardest to achieve and yet, in this writer's opinion, it offers the best chance at connecting with your reader.
An example comes from my upcoming book, Something About Her. A close friend of mine was generous enough to read through and give me some feedback on my first chapters, and one simple suggestion on adding a nonverbal clue made a huge difference to my opening page (in my opinion.)
Here is the original section:
Thomas is dead. Blythe’s brother's words echoed in her head as she peered out her bedroom window at the black clouds.
"Blythe, I’m so sorry," Adam said.
She should feel something. After a year of not knowing where her husband was, there should be grief, sadness. Perhaps a desire to rage at the quirk of fate that had brought her here.
Anything but this veil of nothingness.
And here is the final version that includes the nonverbal clue:
Thomas is dead. Blythe’s brother's words echoed in her head as she peered out her bedroom window at the black clouds.
"Did you hear me?" Adam’s hand landed on her shoulder and squeezed lightly. "Blythe, I’m so sorry."
She should feel something. After a year of not knowing where her husband was, there should be grief, sadness. Perhaps a desire to rage at the quirk of fate that had brought her here.
Anything but this veil of nothingness.
To me, the simple action that Adam took spoke more of his concern and compassion for his sister than his words did. Reaching a hand out and offering physical compassion gave Adam's words meaning.
So here's my challenge to you. Take a page from your current WIP… grab a few paragraphs and see where you can add some nonverbal clues to heighten the emotion, to connect your reader even further. Then post them here…I think it's a great exercise and I'd love to see what you come up with.
Drum Roll Please….
Thank you to everyone who followed along the Promo Plan in a Month Series. Our winner of the Romance Junkies ad, paid for and designed by me, is DEBRA ST. JOHN. Congratulations!!!
4 comments
I’m sorry to hear you’re under the weather. I’ve lost my voice, much to my husbands delight, before but never completely like you have.
In my first book (first few versions) I left out non-verbal communication almost completely. I agree. It makes a huge difference. Now I try to depict the scene. I think it’s James Patterson that has said that he writes a scene. Anyway by doing this I’m finding it’s more natural to use non-verbal.
As always, great post. Take care and hope this passes quickly.
Lavada
Ooh, I love a participation post 🙂 I’ll be back with something. Hope you’re starting to feel better!
Jeannie, I hope you feel better soon! It’s awful to lose your voice.
What a great exercise. Non-verbal communication helps us feel closer to the characters as well as helping us show vs tell.
Instead of telling the reader he sounded sorry. You showed it. No wonder Something About Her got picked up!
~Maggie
Lavada, yes, my husband seems to think it’s quite funny that he can tell me to shush all the time, to “save my voice.” He gets a little too much enjoyment from that, I think. LOL
My biggest problem with nonverbal communication is going deeper than sighs and head nods and narrowing eyes. LOL But usually, in my first draft, I’ll include them just to move on because I know I’m going to search them out later and take most, if not all of them, out.
JK— I’d still love to see an example! 🙂
Maggie — My voice is slowly starting to come back, although funny enough, my toddler still looks at me as if I’m not speaking.