The Cold Brand Read

I read your brand like a stranger would.

No intake call. No backstory. No chance to explain what you meant.

I read your website, profiles and content the way I'd read a novel, looking at the world, the hero, the villain, the stakes and where the story is taking me.

I go in cold, then I show you the story your brand tells when you're not in the room.

Because your brand is already telling a story.

The useful part is finding out which one.

Choose free and shared, or paid and private.

What am I actually reading?

You know the experience behind your business. The ideas you care about. Why you chose that line in your bio and what you meant by that headline on your website.

A stranger doesn't.

They get the pieces you've put in front of them, and their brain turns those pieces into a story about who you are, what you do and whether they should keep reading.

I read that story against seven criteria (the same seven every time) and show you what's strong, what's getting scattered and what never made it onto the page at all.

That's a Cold Brand Read.

How would you like me to read your brand?

Free

Shared in my content

I'll read your brand across my seven story criteria, then share the findings in an upcoming piece of content.

Choose named or anonymous. Either way, I'll let you know before it goes live.

$147

Private and delivered within a week

Get your complete seven-criteria Brand Read privately, including the three things I'd fix first, in order.

Nothing is shared. Just you, me and the story your brand has been telling behind your back.

I'm Jeannie. I read brands like novels.

I've spent more than 25 years in marketing, including at the VP level. I've also published three novels.

So yes, there are two brains at work here.

The marketing brain looks at positioning, clarity and whether your brand helps the right person understand why you matter.

The novelist brain notices the story underneath it all. The world you've built. Who the hero appears to be. What they're up against. Whether anything changes, and whether the reader has a reason to keep going.

Every strong story has a structure underneath it. Your brand does, too.

I'm looking for the story your brand is actually showing. Not the one you know is in your head. Not the one you could explain perfectly over coffee.

The one a stranger can find without you.

How it works

How a Cold Brand Read works

I.

You point me toward your brand.

Your website. LinkedIn. Instagram. Substack. Anywhere else you regularly show up. Not just the place you think is working best. Your story isn't sitting in one perfectly polished bio. It's what adds up across all of it. That sum is what a stranger meets.
II.

I go in cold.

I don't ask what you meant before I read. That's the whole value. What I understand about you is what a stranger can understand about you, and you never get to stand next to them explaining that the really important part is three clicks over.
III.

I use the same seven criteria every time.

This keeps the read from becoming one person's opinion on a Tuesday. I'm looking at the structure of the story: what's clear, what contradicts something else and where an important piece has gone missing.
IV.

You get the story you're actually telling.

Including where it drifts from the one you meant to tell. That gap is usually where the whole thing has been stuck. With the free read, the findings appear in my content. With the private read, the complete report comes directly to you within one week.

This isn't a verdict on your work.

Five minutes on a screen cannot measure how good you are at what you do.

It can only show me the story your brand tells on its own, without you there to add the missing chapters.

You may have already tried to solve that story one sentence at a time. Rewrite the bio. Tighten the headline. Post more. Pick a niche. Be bolder. Try another hook.

And somehow, each fix creates three new things to question. Very efficient.

A Cold Brand Read pulls back far enough to see what all those pieces are doing together.

Because the problem may not be that any one sentence is wrong. It may be that they aren't all telling the same story yet.

The trade

Why is the public read free?

Because your read becomes part of my content. I may turn it into a post, newsletter or teaching example to help other people see their brands differently, too.

That's the trade. You get my complete read of your brand. I get a real brand to read instead of inventing Generic Expert Business Owner Number Fourteen. Everyone wins.

You choose whether the read is named or anonymous. If it's named, I'll credit you and link to your work. If it's anonymous, I'll remove your name, links and identifiable screenshots, and share only your general industry and enough context for the reading to make sense.

You'll see the finished piece when it goes live, and I'll tell you before it does. If you'd rather receive the read privately, sooner and with the three fixes I'd make first, choose the $147 option.

Your brand is already telling a story.

Let's find out what a stranger walks away with.