Home » Katrina Stonoff, Romance Writing, craft

Check Scenes with GOLF

by Katrina Stonoff 26 May 2010 4 Comments

As I mentioned two weeks ago, I’ve started the first revision of a rough draft that I wrote from scene cards. I go over each scene with a checklist, to make sure all the elements of a strong scene are included.

When I’m finished, with rare exceptions, the scenes just sing. I think I’m leap-frogging over several revision passes by doing it this way.

I created an acronym to remember each element: THE GOLF SPACES, and I thought I’d share the tool with you. Last time, I covered THE: Tension, Hyperbole and Emotional Shift, so today we’ll look at GOLF.

G: Goal

I’ve talked about this before, so if you want more details, click the link. But in a nutshell, the POV character should have a goal in every scene. The goal drives the scene forward (hence improves pacing) and helps the reader identify with the character.

The goal is often related to the primary conflict (i.e. in my novel East of Jesus, Grace wants to get rid of her husband’s body before her guests arrive). But it can also be completely unrelated (in another scene, Grace just wants to get her secret stash of Ben & Jerry’s hidden in the freezer before it melts).

An easy way to structure scenes is to give the character a goal, and have him make three attempts to get it. The first two don’t work, so she tries something else, and the third might or might not. This method of designing scenes is also remarkably effective, both for increasing the pace of your scenes and deciding what to include.

Many teachers talk about POV character goals, but the best resource for understanding it is Debra Dixon’s GMC: Goal, Motivation & Conflict. She talks about it in terms of the overarching goal of the novel, but it also applies to each scene. I really nailed this concept last June at WRW.

O: Object

This one is easy: I try to make one object in every scene memorable. Usually, the object is already present in the scene but needs a couple of unusual details to make it pop.

For instance, a character might carry a black purse. But it’s much more interesting if the purse is purple, made of fake crocodile leather, and has a broken strap that drags behind her in the dust.

This tip came from Nancy Pickard.

L: Layer Emotions

I’ve talked about this one too, so click on the link if you want more information.

Real people rarely feel only one emotion, especially during highly charged moments. In fact, we often feel a number of conflicting emotions: joy mingled with guilt, sorrow mixed with excitement, etc.

But for some reason, fictional characters are too often one-dimensional in their feelings.

I look for a spot in each scene where a character is feeling something strongly, and see if I can add a second, surprising emotion.

Donald Maass suggests you ask yourself what the POV character is feeling, then say, “What else might she be feeling?” And keep asking until an unexpected emotion resonates.

F: First and Last Line

This one is easy in theory but sometimes difficult in practice. You want every scene to start and end with a notable statement: something evocative, startling, funny, provocative etc.

I find many of my scenes start with really boring sentences. For example, “Grace parked the Volkswagen in the fifteen-minute loading zone.” Ho-hum!

Sometimes, it’s remarkably easy to punch them up though. In that last example, the first sentence was completely extraneous, but the second sentence was already fairly interesting: ” As she approached the hotel’s front door (and the wooden woman with coconut breasts), Elvis stepped out.” I just deleted the original first sentence and let Elvis and the coconut-breasted babe lead the way into the scene.

Other times, I have to start the scene in a more interesting spot. Or begin with a notable observation and move the transition (“three weeks later, Grace was home”) to the second sentence. Or just reword what’s already there, perhaps adding an unusual detail.

Sometimes, however, the first sentence contains important information that would get lost if I replaced it with something sparkling. In that case, I leave it alone. Probably 95 percent of my scenes start with interesting statements, and that’s good enough.

But the last sentence should always be punchy. No exceptions. Make it surprising, or thought-provoking. Use a cliff-hanger. Make it humorous or emotionally satisfying. Tease the reader with what might happen next.

However you do it, make that last sentence one your reader will remember.

One more word to go: SPACES. And it’s a doozy! Come back June 19 for the rest of the checklist.

______________________

Katrina Stonoff: Fiction for Women

Stone Soup Blog

4 Comments »

  • Laurie Ryan said:

    I am so loving this mini-editing workshop, Katrina. Thanks.

  • Lavada Dee said:

    Katrina, as always I learned a lot from this blog. Particularly the layered look and first and last line. I’m going to be looking at these real hard in my wip.

    Thanks bunches
    Lavada

  • Katrina Stonoff (author) said:

    Thanks, ladies. Of course, none of it is my wisdom. I just gathered tips from a bunch of places and put them in one place. But I’m definitely finding it makes a big difference in my writing — and makes it quickly and efficiently, which I especially like. :-)

  • Terri said:

    These are really great tips, they help me see what I have written in a whole new way. Thank you for sharing your knowledge; I look forward to hearing about SPACES :)

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