Long ago, I took it upon myself to create New Year's resolutions just like everyone else. My list looked just like yours, I imagine (or your spouse's, your neighbor's, your local grocery store clerk's, etc): lose weight, eat better, write more, be happier, find a really great guy (Check!), get married, have a children (triple check!), win the lottery….oh wait, we're back to New Year's resolutions, not aimless dreams I don't have a chance of achieving (because you really do have to buy lottery tickets to win. Isn't that silly?).
Because my resolutions were so completely vague, it made it really easy to focus for all of two seconds, eat a piece of celery for lunch and call it a day. So I started making them more specific. We're supposed to ask for what we want, right? So I started asking… My favorite yearly call: I wanted to be able to fit into the jeans I wore once in my life, when I was 21 and walking or running around an average of 20 hours a day. (Of course to fulfill that would require…well, walking or running around an average of 20 hours a day and then I'm back to eating that celery for lunch.)
New Year's Resolutions seem to be the time to take stock in your life and yes, focus on all the things you did wrong or wish to fix. You need to lose weight. You need to exercise more. (Okay, that would be me.) You need to do this. That. The other thing. And then the "This" a little more.
Making goals is a wonderful thing. It can provide purposes, it can give you direction. But it can also make you forget to appreciate yourself and all the good that has occurred in your life. So one day, a few years ago, I stopped making my New Year's Resolution List of All That Was Wrong With Me And Needed Fixing. Instead, I started making New Year's Remembrances.
I looked backward. I looked over the year that was coming to a close, from start to finish, and gave myself permission to smile, enjoy and remember all the things that had occurred – whether they be happy moments that made my smile, sad ones that made my cry, or just lessons learned along the way. The year happened. And I felt it important to give it the due time it deserved.
So this year, as I sit back and look over what's happened in my life, I can't help but smile. I remember where I was the minute the year ticked to 2007 – with my husband and some friends, listening to music and having a good time (and knowing that my young son was safely ensconced with his grandparents.) From that point on, both in my personal and my writing life, I've had some amazing highs and some definite lows. While I won't bore you with the list, suffice it to say that my year has been full. My husband has fulfilled my "great guy" wish and then some (he washes dishes, ladies! All the time). My son has brought me joy (even as he learned he didn't have to do what mommy told him). My siblings, nieces and nephews have made me smile and laugh. My friends have rallied when I needed them and cheered my achievements. I've made some new friends. I've said goodbye to a very dear, sweet pet. I finished my first novel and began the submission process.
But remembrance isn't just about what happened to me. It's also about how I happened to others. I feel good because my son is happy and well adjusted and know that I've had something to do with that. My husband feels appreciated and loved, and that is also partially because of how we love each other. He knows I cherish him. I hope that I've helped my friends and loved ones celebrate their good times, and been there for them when they needed me during the lows.
So if I make any goals for the coming year, it will be to consider throughout 2008 what I will be thinking about this time next year. So I know to give of myself even if I'm feeling unfriendly, that I accept the bad and be thankful for the good and learn along the way. That I offer those who love me the best I can give. That I be considerate of those less fortunate. And that, most of all, I take stock in my blessings and give thanks.
Happy Holidays to anyone reading this, and I hope you have good remembrances of the year 2007.