Too fat to be photographed?

by Jeannie Ruesch

There is a blog post that I read…and it’s not the first on this topic. I think there was even a Facebook status passed around like candy that talked of the same thing.   The gist is getting over the way we look and to stop avoiding cameras because of it.  It’s a powerful, heady message and one that I believe deserves every person’s story.  Because we all have one.  We all have imperfections. We all scrutinize our pictures, seek out the flaws and determine destruction of all photos is the only course.

And you know what?  Just as this post by Teresa Porter says, ” Our vanity is no longer enough of a reason to avoid the camera. Life doesn’t wait until you “get thin” enough to capture it. Life is happening . . . it is happening right now and the only moment we are guaranteed is the one we are living.”

I’m with Teresa.  I say forget the flaws.  Forget what’s wrong with the pictures we think don’t show us off like the supermodels we’re not.  And that’s for ANY weight or size you are.  I saw a graphic the other day that said, “I wish I weighed what I used to weigh back when I thought I was too fat.”

That’s just so true.  It’s never going to be enough, because we don’t see ourselves in the truest light.  No matter how flattering the light may be, we see ourselves only in the glaring, interrogation-style, unflattering light that adds a gazillion pounds and makes our skin look bad.

So to the fat pictures, where I might not look like a supermodel, I say so what? I was just as guilty of not wanting to be in the picture, because I didn’t care for how it looked.  And a part of my success in losing weight this past year has been in accepting myself when I started, all along the way and now.  Fat, thin, short, tall (in my dreams on that one), it doesn’t matter.  What does matter is what else we will see in our own pictures if we stop looking at the flaws and instead look at the smiles, the happiness, the memories.  So these are some of my “I don’t look my best” photos in this blog.  And each one captures a day, a moment, or a memory that lasts longer because it was captured on film.

The top one? My brother Ty and me, while Christmas tree shopping with my family two years ago.  It was a funny, fun day — and we’re being silly for the camera.

This picture above to the left ?  This was another great night of memories — my 40th birthday this year.  My husband surprised me with a night of dinner mystery theater at the Delta King, with my siblings and family around me.  It was all the people I loved the most, and a wonderful night.   I could find flaws in the picture, but what I really remember when I look at it is the fun and laughter of the evening.

The photo to the right – my son’s first trip to Disneyland, which we took last summer.   I started on the Nutrisystem diet right when we returned from Disneyland, so this photo are definitely in the “before” category.   But the joy of sharing my son’s first experience at Disneyland is so much more important than any flaws I might see in how I look.

So go ahead — be proud of your less-than-perfect photos.   Because when your family looks at them, they see your love.  When your children look at them years from now, they’ll see their mom and the wonderful memories you shared.  They won’t see the flaws.

 

 

 

 

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2 comments

April July 9, 2013 - 12:22 am

I don’t like being in pictures because of my weight. But you are so right when you say kids won’t see it when they look back at them. I am a single mom and my kids have no relationship with their dad so I have to remind myself the kids will want pictures of me no matter how I worry about my looks. I also have to keep in mind the message I am sending my 19 year old daughter, and maybe a future granddaughter if she asks why I am not in any of them! (I have a brother named Ty too!)

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Jeannie Ruesch July 9, 2013 - 3:52 am

Hey April! I totally understand what you mean. There are times it’s tough to look at the pictures… but I also look at pictures of years past and think how much I would regret not having a picture of me with my son at this age, or that age… When I look at the photos now, I see our smiles… and that makes it worth it.

And I think it’s wonderful that you can look at the messages you’re sending to your daughter and to your granddaughter. It’s tough to teach them to value and love themselves at any weight if we can’t SHOW them how we do it ourselves. Not that it’s easy — it’s a constant struggle. We’re always so hard on ourselves.

Your kids will love every single picture of you and cherish the memories, the laughter and love that they remember from those moments. 🙂

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